


Not Today (At least not until we leave, which is in, like, ten to fifteen minutes)

by LostLine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Humor, Jongin just wants to worship his Sehun and make sweet sweet love, M/M, but he lives with five other assholes, so that's it that's the plot, this is just a cute little story of a very chaotic morning where it's hard for a dick to live, who won't let him live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23717422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostLine/pseuds/LostLine
Summary: Jongin and Sehun are trying to get it on but Jongin's housemates, naturally, won't let them be.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 45
Kudos: 124





	1. The Door Handle and Jongdae.

The house is three hundred sixty square meters big, has six bedrooms, two living rooms, two kitchens and four bathrooms. Twenty minutes to school by bus and about thirty five on foot. It has two big balconies on the second floor and a huge veranda on the first. The garden is big and looked after well. Blessed by the sun from its rise to its setting. Currently occupied by six college students. All male.

Jongin peppered soft kisses onto Sehun’s inner thighs, happily taking turns on each side and slowly making his way up. This is where he belonged, between Sehun’s legs, Jongin thought to himself. Sehun was breathing in and out deeply, occasionally he would bless Jongin with a small shudder, or a gasp, or a barely audible moan.

The door banged open and crashed into the wall, where the dent made by the door handle was sure to have gotten much deeper.

“What the fuck? That’s a dick!” Jongdae shrieked.

Sehun quickly closed his legs and they disappeared underneath the blanket, leaving Jongin groaning in despair.

Jongdae started to scream, with his hand covering his eyes. “My eyes!” he wailed. “I DID NOT have to see that!”

For some reason, Baekhyun started to scream from his room, which shared a wall with Jongin’s.

“Get out!” Jongin yelled and threw a pillow at Jongdae, it missed the fucker and instead hit the glass frame on the wall, which housed the picture of baby Jongin holding a small hedgehog, sending it crashing onto the floor.

Baekhyun stopped his screams to ask a question. “What was that? Did you just break Nini’s baby picture?”

Jongdae stopped his screams to answer the question. “No! He’s trying to kill me, for a dick!”

“Whose dick?”

“I don’t know!”

“You saw the dick but you didn’t see the face?”

“I’m sorry if my attention went straight to the dick!”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘and’?”

“Get out!” Jongin yelled again, he picked up an empty can of cola from his nightstand and threw it at Jongdae. It hit the fucker’s chest and fell on the floor pathetically. A small amount of cola was spilled though.

“What do you mean what I mean?” Baekhyun yelled back, completely ignoring Jongin. “How was the dick?”

“I don’t — big!” Jongdae yelled, completely ignoring Jongin, who started to yell incomprehensibly.

Sehun groaned underneath him, probably from internal pain.

Baekhyun started laughing and Jongdae started to feel his way out. He closed the door with a slam, muttering “How will I get rid of this now?”

Jongin sighed in relief and tugged the blanket down to reveal Sehun’s pretty face, all flushed red.

“I’m so sorry,” Jongin said, but he couldn’t help but smile crookedly. “That was Jongdae. The vocal major.”

Sehun nodded. “He’s really loud, like, holy shit! It just pierces through!”

Jongin kissed Sehun softly, an apology. “But he thinks you have a big dick — speaking of —” Jongin snuck a hand underneath the blanket and found Sehun still as hard as it was before Jongdae rudely interrupted them. “You’re still hard. Didn’t that turn you off?”

“Of course it did,” Sehun muttered. “But you were still right on top of me, protecting me and shit. Besides, I was extremely turned on before that loudspeaker came in.”

Jongin laughed in delight, his whole body shaking against Sehun’s. “ ‘loudspeaker’, I’ll make sure to tell him that,”

Sehun hummed happily and pulled Jongin down for a kiss. “Come under the covers, I wanna feel your skin.”

“It’s hot though, babe,” Jongin said, between their kisses. “ you come out,”

“Okay, yeah,” Sehun agreed and started to kick off the blanket. “What if he comes back in?”

“He’s not that stup —”

Jongdae came back in and started to shriek again. “Are you guys serious?”

“ — id,” Jongin finished, hanging his head low. He planted another apologetic kiss on Sehun’s cheek before turning to Jongdae. “Are _you_ serious?” he yelled angrily. “Get out! Get out! Get out!”

“Fine! Going! Leaving!” Jongdae yelled back, but he didn’t go back out. Instead he blindly started to pat through Jongin’s desk. One of his hands was still covering his eyes. Sehun raised himself up on his elbows and watched Jongdae curiously.

Understanding why the Loudspeaker had come into his room, Jongin tried to guide him. “A little bit further, and then a little bit to your right — not that further, go back a bit — can’t you just open your eyes and not look this way?” he snapped.

“Nah-ah,” Jongdae said and then finally got a hold of the headphones. “Not taking any chance. Can’t believe I saw you do that and, you know, you would think that if you were to meet your friend’s boyfriend for the first time, the first thing you see of them would be his face or his body, clothed. But noooooo, you had to go and do this to me!” he whispered, loudly and furiously, at a wall.

Sehun snickered. “Can’t he just, you know, _close_ his eyes?” he whispered, but loud enough for Jongdae to hear. “Why the hand?”

“Because he needs three braincells to do that, and he only has two,” Jongin answered, making a trail of kisses along Sehun’s beautiful shoulder.

“Junmyeon, your Nini is bullying me with his big dicked boyfriend!” Jongdae shouted. He took a big step towards the exit, hit his crotch on the door handle and cursed loudly, bending over in pain. “Fucking fuckity fuck! What is this morning?”

Sehun and Jongin laughed together as Jongdae carried his injured body out of the room. The fucker left his door open though.

Jongin sighed heavily, kissed Sehun hungrily on the mouth before getting up to close the door. As he stood up, Baekhyun’s door opened and the fucker himself came into view.

His eyes roamed over the situation with easy confidence. From Sehun on the bed, to Jongin standing just in his boxers… Baekhyun grinned. “ _Nice_ ,” he said and closed the door for them.

Jongin turned around and saw Sehun grab a hold of his dick. “Nini,” Sehun whispered. “Take that off and come.”

Nodding frantically, Jongin quickly stepped out of his boxers. His mouth had gone dry at the sight of Sehun touching himself. Just as his knee touched the bed, however, the door swung open again.

“Hee hee!” Baekhyun sounded way too gleeful for anyone who had just walked in to see the bare ass (and probably some part of bare balls) of his long time friend.

Jongin didn’t care. He cupped his dick into his hands and faced Baekhyun. “What?” he snarled.

Baekhyun didn’t even look at him. “Do you guys want some breakfast?” he asked Sehun.

“No, thank you. Really kind of you, but no, thank you.” Sehun answered, sounding thoroughly confused.

Jongin shuffled his way awkwardly to the door, still hiding his dick. “Fuck off,” he whispered menacingly before kicking the door shut on Baekhyun’s face, which would prove to be a big mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next up, Baekhyun.
> 
> Also, does anyone know any dark or light or blue magic, or voodoo stuff, to get rid of my downstairs neighbors? They play extremely loud music at midnight, at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am until I nearly cry from frustration.
> 
> Please contact me here or on Twitter: https://twitter.com/readandscream


	2. Baekhyun and the Hit Songs.

The first floor had two bedrooms, the main kitchen, two bathrooms and a large living room, where two L shaped couches were merged together to make one large soft area for the boys to lay down and watch tv together in the evening. The coffee table that used to be in front of the couch was broken into pieces when Kyungsoo slammed Chanyeol down onto it one eventful night. Nobody even suggested they get a new table. Now, Chanyeol was simply slammed down onto the carpeted floor. 

Jongin was just happily licking and sucking on the tip of Sehun's very pretty (and very big — Jongdae saw right) cock when there came rhythmic soft knocks on his door.

"Fuck me," Sehun grunted in annoyance and nudged Jongin off. 

Angry at how he had to part with Sehun's cock, Jongin cleared his throat loudly in a very meaningful way, hoping whichever dick was on the other side of the door would get the message and kindly fuck off.

"Nini?" Baekhyun said sweetly, which meant he was plotting Jongin’s death. He had learned it from his girlfriend,Taeyeon. Shit was terrifying. "Whatcha dooooiiiiing?"

So his throat clearing didn't reach Baekhyun, the dick, but it still got Jongin a sweet amused smile from Sehun. 

"Trying to suck my boyfriend's dick in peace,” Jongin gritted out. "Why?"

“Oh, that’s nice,” Baekhyun replied casually, like they were talking about what to have for dinner. “I just wanted to have a little talk, you know? You know how much I love you, right?

“I’m sorry that I slammed the door on your face,” Jongin said quickly, knowing why Baekhyun was being extra dicky. “Please go away.”

“Remember that cake Jongdae brought last year on my birthday?” Baekhyun continued, as if Jongin didn’t say anything. “Do you really think that Jongdae can’t find the bakery again, or do you think he’s doing it just to spite me? I mean, it was the best cake _ever_. Maybe he’s going there on his own. All this time, he could have been having cake without us, Nini. What do you think? Don’t you think we should discuss this? I think we should.”

Jongin whimpered. Sehun ran a soothing hand over his back. “I’m really really sorry. I won’t ever do that again. It was wrong of me. Please accept my apology!”

Baekhyun didn’t say anything for a moment, Jongin slowly pulled the blanket over Sehun, more than half expecting Baekhyun to kick the door open, but the he just said, “I’m going to take a shower now,”

Jongin and Sehun looked at each other. “Shower?” Sehun whispered. “Does that mean he’s going to come and dump cold water on us?”

“I dunno,” Jongin said. “I mean, he takes a shower everyday and announces it everyday, but that sounded like a threat. Do you think that sounded like a threat? Because I think that sounded like a threat.”

They both stilled and listened intently as the water started running in the bathroom, with which Jongin also shared a wall. Baekhyun seemed to be whistling and humming a tune.

“He’s a man,” Sehun said thoughtfully. “Which means he’ll probably be out in three minutes. I wonder if I can make you cum in three minutes?” He leaned over and grabbed the bottle of lube from Jongin’s nightstand. “Sit up on your knees Nini,”

Jongin pouted. “That’s so not how I wanted you to learn my nickname,”

“What, you don’t like it?” Sehun turned the cap off the bottle and shook out a large amount of lube on his hands. Then he got on his knees and came closer to Jongin. “Come here, baby. This should feel good.”

Sehun aligned both their cocks together and started to coat them with lube. His fingers ran over Jongin’s balls and then up and circled. The pressure was just right and Jongin found himself happily melting into Sehun’s touches. It was such an erotic sight — their cocks hard and wet and slowly moving against each other.

“ _HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! OH BABY BABY! MmmmMMmMMMM HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO_...”

Sehun fell back on the bed, laughing and Jongin threw his head up to the ceiling and roared. “FUUUUUUUCK!”

Of fucking course Baekhyun wasn’t going to just take a shower. Shit was never that simple. 

“ _DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE ROCKS THAT I GOT! I’M STILL I’M STILL_ …”

“Lie down with me,” Sehun said, patting the bed. He seemed way too amused for someone who was getting constantly cockblocked.

Jongin slumped down beside him and put his arm around Sehun’s pretty waist. “I love your waist,” he mumbled.

Sehun kissed Jongin’s forehead and started to play with his hair. “Thanks. I like him. He’s… hyper, like a puppy. Cute, tiring but not harmless.”

_“THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! I DON’T NEED NOBODY TELLING ME JUST WHAT I WANNA… WHAT I WHAT WHAT WHAT I’M GONNA_ …”

“You know,” Jongin said. “that’s the perfect definition of Baekhyun hyung.”

“How can he be this energetic this early?” Sehun said, half laughing. “I can’t even get annoyed. Which one was he again?”

“The one who can sing like it’s nobody’s business,” Jongin deadpanned.

Sehun paused. “So this goat-screeching is on purpose?”

“ _COME, MY LADY. COME COME MY LADY! YOU’RE MY BUTTERFLY SUGAR BABY_ …”

Jongin nodded. “Yep. He usually does it when he’s got some alcohol in that tiny body of his, but I guess this is a special occasion.”

Somebody knocked on his room’s door. “Jongin?” It was Jongdae. “I’m off now, you can go back to your boyfriend’s big dick,”

“Please stop saying that!” Jongin shot back, as Sehun sniggered beside him, looking shy and smug. “And have a good day!”

“I will, you too. Sehun, was it? It was nice to meet you!”

“Yes, you too!” Sehun said back.

“... _MAN, HE HATES THAT BITCH!” Baekhyun continued to goat-screech. “HE TELLS ME EVERYDAY!_...”

“When do you think he’ll finish?” Sehun asked, starting to look defeated.

Jongin lifted up his head to look at the clock on the wall over his desk. “On Fridays he meets his girlfriend at nine and they go to school together. Then —”

“That thing has a girlfriend?” Sehun said and then quickly clasped his hand over his mouth, looking terrified. He nervously looked around, as if Baekhyun might crash through the wall.

“ _I WON’T PAY, I WON’T PAY YA, NO WAAAAAAAAY_ …”

Jongin chuckled and peppered some kisses on Sehun’s perfect lips. “Yes, that thing has a girlfriend. And it’s 8.52 now. It takes him about 3 minutes to get there. So… it shouldn’t be long now.”

That was what he hoped, anyway. Baekhyun might just leave the house at 8.59 and run his way to Taeyeon, or he might call Taeyeon over and… Fuck, he was so screwed if the two psychos got together against him.

There was a loud thud from the hallway and Jongdae began screaming again. “THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THIS FLOOR? UGH — OW! WHAT’S HAPPENING?” 

“What is it? Are you okay?” Junmyeon's voice cut through both Jongdae’s complaints and Baekhyun’s hollers.

“I’m NOT okay!” Jongdae yelled. “I almost died just now! Why is this floor so slippery? Is this Kyungsoo’s doing? Why does he want me to fall down the stairs and break my neck? If this is about me burning his underwear —”

“It’s me! It’s me!” Junmyeon said, he sounded exhausted. “I was polishing the stairs this morning and I spilled some right there. Just get down — you’re gonna be late.”

“YoU dID ThIs?!” 

Jongin and Sehun listened, clutching their stomachs and fawning their faces, as Jongdae stomped his way down the stairs, yelling angry insults.

“ _HOW DOES A BASTARD, ORPHAN, SON OF A WHORE_ …”

“I love this song!” Sehun said happily, getting his breath under control. He and Jongin then happily sang along. 

Baekhyun stopped screeching. Then the sound of water stopped too. “IT’S NOT FUN IF YOU’RE NOT SUFFERING!” he bellowed.

Jongin and Sehun just laughed and started to sing louder. “ _THE TEN-DOLLAR_ _FOUNDING FATHER WITHOUT A FATHER_ …”

They heard Baekhyun curse and stumble as he left the bathroom. There was the sound of the door opening and then a moment later, Jongin’s door opened.

Baekhyun stood there, looking like a washed hamster. He had, for some reason, wrapped his (white) towel around his chest, instead of his waist or hips, like he had boobs to cover up.

“Have a good day you two.” he said softly, smiling at them, which just further heightened Jongin’s sense of self-defence. “Eat some breakfast before you go.”

Sehun nodded. Jongin mouthed _fuck off_. Baekhyun’s mouth twitched, but he closed the door gently after himself. 

“This is just creepy now,” Sehun muttered as the house fell into a silence. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get hard unless I get interrupted twenty times a minute.”

“My poor baby,” Jongin murmured, nuzzling into Sehun's neck. He planted wet kisses around it and Sehun sighed deeply. Jongin couldn't get enough of how good Sehun's skin felt under his lips. “We still have some time. They all have nine thirty classes on Friday. I’m the only one in an eleven class.”

“Then we should’ve just slept some more. Why did you even wake me up?”

Jongin huffed and made himself look hurt. “It’s not my fault when you’re so damn sexy and hot and mouth watering when you’re snoring away on my bed! It’s your first time on my bed, I couldn’t help it…”

Sehun turned away, smiling. His ears were red.

Then, they both jumped up on the bed as the world blew up, Jongin shrieking indignantly. With his heart hammering inside his chest and throat and stomach, he stared at Baekhyun, who had his arms close to his chest and one leg high in the air. Apparently, he had just kicked Jongin’s door… off its hinges. It fell onto the floor with a loud crash.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Junmyeon yelled and they all heard him come upstairs. “Ah! Shit, I gotta clean that. Baekhyun! What’d you doooo? We’ll have to pay for this! Did you just seriously— are you hurt? How did you not break your ankle? What the actual fuck, Baekhyuuuuun?”

With a smug smirk, Baekhyun slowly lowered his leg and turned to Junmyeon. “Gotta go now. Bye!” he said brightly and ran off. 

One and a half second later, Baekhyun squealed and there came the sound of him hitting the floor. Hard. “What the — Who fucked the floor?!”

“Nobody! Jesus Fucking Christ — did you break anything?”

“Well,” Sehun said, licking his lips. “So there _is_ karma.” He turned to look at Jongin, who looked back at him, and they both burst into a fit of laughter all over again. 

Baekhyun cursed at them from the hall.

* * *

  * Baby One More Time
  * Jenny from the Block
  * Overprotected
  * Butterfly
  * Why Don't You Get a Job?
  * Alexander Hamilton



When in doubt, do what Baekhyun wouldn't.


	3. Junmyeon and the Talk

The upstairs living room had a nice and big windowsill, where the boys liked to sit and pretend like they were in a movie. It was a dear place for them, full of memories. Baekhyun had been sitting there when he got his first reply from Taeyeon; Jongdae had been having his lunch there when a pigeon flew in and set all hell loose; And the most memorable and happy occasion of all was when Jongin simply threw himself out the window when he saw Chanyeol throw a giant cockroach at him. Jongin’s book that he had been reading before the vicious attack was unharmed. The fake cockroach was later on brutally burned to death, by Jongin who had fallen on the veranda, where Junmyeon was meditating. 

  
  


Sehun licked a nice and long stripe over Jongin’s cock and then swirled his tongue around the tip of it. He looked delighted at how wrecked Jongin felt and looked. 

“So good — you really did just get me hard again with only your tongue,” Jongin panted out, wincing at how loud he sounded inside the bathroom.

The demolishment of Jongin’s door meant that the privacy it provided, however little, was gone. It wasn’t much of a big problem, Jongin had assured Sehun. Jongdae and Baekhyun were out of the house. Even though Kyungsoo’s room was also on the second floor, it was on the other side and he did not have a reason, like Jongdae, to come looking for Jongin. So as long as they kept quiet, they would be O.K

They had come to the bathroom because Sehun wanted to brush his teeth, Jongin had tagged along since he needed to start the morning laundry. But when he was done, Sehun had turned the bending Jongin around and had kissed the living light out of him. It was so well controlled but demanding that Jongin felt like he was being ravished. He had tutted at Jongin’s half hard dick and whispered a promise of getting him hard with his tongue. 

“Nini?”

It was Junmyeon, knocking gently at the door and ruining everything for Jongin. 

“Yes?” Jongin called out and then had to silent his cry because, far from stopping, Sehun started to suckle on the tip of Jongin’s dick like it was his favorite lollipop. And fuck, if it wasn’t the hottest thing.

“Can we talk? What’re you doing?”

Jongin almost said ‘shitting’ but he stopped himself because he thought it would be rude to Sehun, who was doing wonders with his mouth on his dick. “I’m — ” What? What should he say? Did Junmyeon want to come in? Why though? He had his own bathroom downstairs. “— getting ready.”

“Oh, good, good. Is your friend in your room?”

“Yeah, don’t go in!” Jongin said quickly, which was too suspicious. “He’s naked and asleep. Very tired, yeah.” he added. 

Sehun grinned up at him happily. 

“I won’t go in, I won’t go in. Can’t believe Baekhyun actually did that. My jaw is still on the floor.”

Was Junmyeon really just chatting him up from the other side of a door? But since he had to leave real soon, this would end quickly. Jongin took a hold of that silver line of hope and clutched onto it. 

“Yeah, I keep forgetting he has black belt in all the things that gave out black belts. What did you do with the floor?”

Sehun started to bob his head up and down, Jongin did his best to keep his mouth shut. His pretty Sehun was on his knees in front of him, sucking his dick and looking up at him with begging eyes. 

“Ah, I woke up way too early because someone — and by someone I mean Chanyeol — set an alarm on my phone to go off at seven. He hid it in my closet, too. Can't believe he actually makes time to wait for me to sleep so he could pull shitty cheap pranks like that. So anyway after I went for a jog and had my breakfast, I didn’t have much to do. Then I found this really nice cleaning video and I just felt like cleaning everything. I particularly enjoyed the polishing the wood table part, so I cleaned and polished the staircase. The bottle fell and spilled everything on the landing though. I thought I wiped up everything but turns out it wasn’t enough. But don’t worry! I wiped it again and again just now, tried walking on it. It’s all good now.”

He sounded so nice and kind and sincere that Jongin couldn’t find it in himself to yell at him to fuck off, or tell him how he should have just cleaned the pigster he called his room if he was in such a mood to clean up. 

“I’m just sorry Baekhyun didn’t break a bone,” He said instead, which was the only remaining honest thought he had. 

Junmyeon laughed. “A finger, perhaps?”

“A neck, more like.”

Sehun almost choked on Jongin’s dick and Jongin had to grab the nearest object, which was Baekhyun’s hairspray, and throw it on the floor to cover up the cute sound Sehun made. 

“What was that?”

“Ah, just dropped something. So, how’s school? Is everything okay?”

Sehun sat down on his butt, probably since his knees hurt, and then leaned up and went back to sucking Jongin’s dick. 

“Oh yeah, did I tell you? I got back all my files? Turns out my hard disk was O.K. Thought I lost everything when Kyungsoo spilled all that coffee on it.”

Jongin laughed happily. Sehun was sucking his dick, and now he was reminded of a joyful moment where Junmyeon nearly shit himself. 

“That was a good morning.”

Junmyeon paused. “Dude, I cried.”

“Exactly,”

Jongin patted Sehun’s cheek and got him to look up. “Close,” he whispered.

Sehun nodded and started to jerk off Jongin harder as he sucked on the top part. Did Sehun not understand him? There was no way Jongin was able to keep silent as he came. He was loud in bed anyway, and keeping mum when his pretty Sehun was sucking his dick was hard enough. Stupid Junmyeon and his good heart, Jongin thought grumpily. He tried to get Sehun to stop again, but Junmyeon spoke.

“I’m really glad for you. It’s Sehun, right?”

Sehun and Jongin both froze. Did Junmyeon know?

“That boy you brought home? You’ve been talking about him for months, I feel like I know him already.”

Jongin sighed, relieved. Sehun sat back and listened, leaving Jongin’s dick hard and abandoned.

“Yeah, Oh Sehun. I’ll officially introduce you guys tonight. We ended up working really late yesterday. You know how finals are. And since our house is closer to campus, I suggested we get some sleep here.”

Junmyeon made an understanding noise. “And Jongdae had to go in and ruin your morning plans.”

Jongin ran his fingers along Sehun’s ears, which were rapidly turning red. “It wasn’t planned, if you wanna know.”

“It wasn’t?” Junmyeon sounded surprised. “You talked and talked and talked about him ever since the first day of school and planned all these timetables where you had common classes with him — didn’t you make a list of things you could talk to him about? Oh and that —”

“YeaahahaHAHA shush! shut up now! urghghghhhh” Jongin hid his face behind his hands, mortified.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Sehun might hear,” he mumbled. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Mm yeah, it is,” Junmyeon agreed. “You got it so bad from the beginning. It was this pretty Sehun, cool Sehun, badass Sehun, he reads! Sehun, he held my hand today! Sehun! …”

Jongin would have shouted at Junmyeon to keep his blabbering mouth shut, but Sehun held one pretty finger against his pretty lips and kept Jongin silent. He seemed to be enjoying himself. 

“... all those hours we had to listen to you gushing about how perfect this Oh Sehun was.” Junmyeon gave a deep sigh. “Just so happy for you, man.”

Jongin was pretty sure there was steam coming out of his ears. But he couldn’t help but say,”Yeah, I’m so happy,”

Sehun silently got up to his feet, he gently held Jongin's hands and slowly lowered them. Then he planted a very soft kiss on Jongin's lips. 

“WELP!” Junmyeon all but screamed and cleared his throat loudly. Sehun and Jongin both jumped, they seemed to be doing that a lot today. “I gotta go to school now. Sehun? I’m _really_ looking forward to officially meeting you tonight. Nini, you shouldn’t lie to your seniors.”

Sehun’s mouth fell open. Jongin saw red. “I _WILL_ LICK YOUR EYEBALLS!”

“Ahahahahaha yeah bye! Umm… enjoy yourselves?” and with another stupid laugh, Junmyeon walked away, leaving Jongin, once again, going soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spilled coffee on my laptop. It's dead. Please help. If you think you might know something, please let me know. I just want to save all the pictures.
> 
> Also, next up: Kyungsoo ^^


	4. Kyungsoo and the Bottle of Lube

One sunny afternoon, the main kitchen of the house had five young men sprawled on the floor, groaning and cursing. 

Things one need to know: 

  * Junmyeon never properly closed stuff
  * Kyungsoo liked to throw stuff back and forth between his hands. He enjoyed the satisfying smacking sound it made.
  * Jongin and Chanyeol shared two (three at most) brain cells.
  * Jongdae had a supreme lack of interest in anything that came out of Junmyeon’s mouth.



  
  


How it happened: 

Junmyeon used the olive oil. Junmyeon didn’t screw the cap back on. Entered, Kyungsoo, who had come in to check whether it was time for him to take charge. He grabbed the bottle of oil and threw it to his other hand. Oil spurted out in midair. Kyungsoo, out of surprise, yeeted the bottle away. Still spilling olive oil everywhere, the bottle landed loudly right at the kitchen’s double doors. Kyungsoo started wiping his hand on Junmyeon’s ass. 

“What did you do now?” Jongdae said, and Junmyeon heard him come at them.

“No, stop! Don’t come in!” Junmyeon yelled.

Jongdae of course, ignored him and walked in. “Wh—” Jongdae slipped but didn’t fall, he barely managed to keep himself upright after many arm swings. Even then, Junmyeon found himself laughing for a moment at the air dance Jongdae had resorted to doing, right before Jongdae slipped again and started to fall towards him. Of course, Junmyeon stepped back hastily to avoid Jongdae, and his swinging arm smacked Kyungsoo straight across the face, knocking his glasses off. Jongdae fell on Junmyeon, who fell on Kyungsoo, who was too slow to get out of the way as he was busy rubbing the boo boo on his nose. 

Jongin took off his headphones and had a single moment of view of Junmyeon, Kyungsoo and Jongdae on the floor, before he stepped into the kitchen and found himself falling straight down. He spun on the spot, met eyes with Chanyeol, who was right behind him, took a firm hold of his t-shirt and pulled.down.hard. If he was going down, he was going to drag anyone and everyone down with him damn it.

Miraculously, nobody broke a bone. The clean up was a bitch. Baekhyun, who had spent the weekend at his girlfriend’s home, peed himself a little laughing.

  
  


Jongin lay sprawled on his bed with Sehun at his side. They stared blankly at Jongin’s room’s ceiling and kept letting out weak, defeated sighs in turns. 

“I don’t know if I want to do it,” Sehun said softly. “At this point, I’m not sure if I’m genuinely horny or am just willing to do it out of spite.”

“I know what you mean, babe. Maybe we should just take a shower and eat something. We can watch some Netflix before we go. We still have some time.”

“Okay,” Sehun said, sighing again. “sounds good.”

Jongin turned his head at Sehun and started laughing weakly. Sehun laughed too, and it was one of those tired, confused, ‘I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so tired. Please help.’ laughs. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING? CAUSE IF YOU ARE, I’MMA NEED YOU TO PAUSE!”

Sehun was startled so bad, he fell off the bed. “Ow,”

Jongin clutched his chest tightly, trying to get his heartbeat calm the fuck down, and weakly made his way to the edge of the bed to get Sehun up. 

“YOU NEED TO START WALKING WITH MORE SOUND! STOP CREEPING UP ON PEOPLE. DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE, KYUNGSOO?” Jongin yelled. “IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? DO YOU WANNA SEE ME DEAD?”

“Maybe we’re already dead,” Sehun reasoned calmly. “And this is hell, where you never get laid.”

“No, baby. That can’t be right.” Jongin reasoned back. “ _You_ can never go to hell, it would be against the very nature.”

Sehun made a disgusted noise but pulled him into a kiss anyway. Jongin smiled happily into it. 

“Eww, stop making out when I’m right here,”

Jongin pulled away. Kyungsoo, the fucker, was inside his room. Standing there, looking unimpressed and holding his Nintendo (turquoise) Switch. 

“Dude, did you seriously come here for a game?”

Kyungsoo nodded, looking serious. He also looked like he was constipated, or had something really big and hard shoved up his ass. “I need to beat the shit out of Baekhyun — I mean in this game. I meant the game.” he said, sounding thoroughly unconvincing about the game part. 

“Are you — you made _another_ bet with Baekhyun, didn’t you?”

Kyungsoo nodded again. “I need help. I’m going to lose, Jongin.” he whispered dramatically. It was a wonder his eyes hadn’t popped out yet. “I can’t lose. Not again.”

Knowing there was only one way to get Kyungsoo out of his room, Jongin pulled his bed cover over Sehun’s lap and then covered his own junk with a pillow.

“Come here. What game is it?”

Kyungsoo carried himself with his short legs and came to sit on the bed with them, completely unfazed by the two very horny and naked grown men, who were ready to rip him off limb by limb. 

“Nobody’s Island. I don’t know how to get Mino’s stupid pocketwatch.”

Jongin took the Nintendo and went straight to Hoon’s cabin. “You gotta ask Hoon for it and I know he doesn’t answer, but instead ask you to complete a task for him—”

“It’s always something impossible!” Kyungsoo protested. “How do you even know he has it? Maybe he’s —” Kyungsoo caught the glare Jongin gave him and shut up, albeit grumpily. 

“Hoon does have it. He values hardwork and sincerity. Here,” Jongin tapped ‘yes’ and Hoon gave him a job of digging for sweet potatoes for ten hours. “Keep digging. Just leave it like that and after a while Hoon comes out of his cabin with some cold drink for you. He’ll applaud your youthful spirit and give you the pocket watch. Then you can go to Mino, give him the watch and he’ll draw you a map, with which you can find the bridge and get to the other side of the island, where Jinwoo and Yoon live.”

Sehun’s chin was resting on Jongin’s shoulder. He had been watching Jongin play the game. “And then what happens?” he asked.

Jongin kissed his forehead and then inhaled in his sweet sweet scent. “I’ll show you, or you can play and I’ll watch you. I just need to charge mine first, okay?”

Sehun nodded, looking adorable. 

“I knew Jongin was a sappy lover.” Kyungsoo spat out, watching them with a mild disgust and interest. “It’s like watching my parents kiss.”

“Your parents are wonderful people and you will show him the respect they deserve,” Jongin said firmly. He was not going to let Kyungsoo say anything slightly less than awesome about the people who fed Jongin non-stop whenever they came around for a visit. 

Kyungsoo nodded and waved him away distractedly. “Okay, thanks for this. Don’t tell Baekhyun, I’ll rip your tongue out.”

Jongin raised an eyebrow and lifted his chin up. “ _After_ you build up a ladder, you mean,”

Sehun started to laugh but held his laughter in with a mighty snort. Jongin wished he didn’t; he loved listening to Sehun laugh. 

Kyungsoo’s hand swung out at him faster than Jongin could blink. But Sehun caught Kyungsoo’s wrist with a sharp sound and held it up. 

“Nah ah,” Sehun said softly, staring straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “None of that.”

Jongin’s dick gave a twitch.

Kyungsoo blinked. “No, dude. I don’t hit Nini. Just Chanyeol,” he said, looking shocked. “I meant to grab that,” he nodded down at Jongin’s crotch, where all three of them looked down to see the bottle of lube Sehun opened earlier was dripping everywhere on the sheet. “Didn’t you guys notice it?”

“Noo —ugh yuck!” Jongin jumped out of the bed. Sehun released Kyungsoo and apologized. Kyungsoo nodded at him to show there was no hard feeling and grabbed one of Jongin’s shirts from the floor and started to clean up the sheet.

After two seconds, he threw the shirt at Jongin and announced he needed to go to school. “But thanks for the help though. And I like you,” he added at Sehun, who smiled sheepishly. “Take care of our Nini.”

Jongin and Sehun quickly took off the sheets and were relieved to see no lube had touched the mattress. 

“Oh and by the way,” Kyungsoo reappeared by Jongin’s door, holding his backpack this time. “Do you remember the first good habit Baekhyun made thanks to Taeyeon?”

“Shower everyday, twice a day?”

“The other one.”

“Always wear fresh socks?”

“The other one.”

“Let water be the first thing to enter your stomach everyday and always drink lukewarm water on cold days?”

“The other one, but that one helped us a lot.”

Jongin nodded in agreement. “Floss whenever you can?”

“The other one.”

“Don’t eat something you don’t even want just because you’re bored?”

“The other one.”

Jongin stared at Kyungsoo, who stared back at him. Why was this adorable penguin fucker doing this now? Then something lit up inside his head.

“To change your sheets once a week!”

“To change your sheets once a week!” Kyungsoo repeated, nodding in satisfaction. 

Jongin laughed evilly. “And Baekhyun changes his sheets —”

“Every fucking Friday,” Kyungsoo finished for him. He then checked his watch and made an ugly face. “I really gotta go now. I wanna buy that bread with raisins on my way. Happy fucking you two!”

Jongin turned to his pretty Sehun, who looked confused and amused. “ _Babe_ ,” Jongin purred. “Up for some little revenge?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My stove is broken TT there's a complete lockdown and now I can't have hot meal *cries*
> 
> Also, Sehun is hot in here ;afjalkdjf;laelj I know I wrote it but I just !!!!!! "Nah ah... none of that," gahhhhhhhhhh


	5. Chanyeol and The End (for now)

One warm spring day, the house found itself being cleaned inside out. Baekhyun had spent the weekend at her girlfriend’s apartment, where she lived with her two friends, Yoona and Seolhyun. Baekhyun came back as a new person. He had discovered that he and his friends were actual insults to human beings. 

“They change the face towel everyday!” Baekhyun had revealed over dinner. “Sometimes twice a day! Just imagine, you wipe your face and that towel isn't actually infested with germs. And they clean the toilet everyday too! Actually, the whole bathroom is cleaned everyday.”

“Nobody has time for that,” Chanyeol mumbled, keeping his eyes down. 

Baekhyun only paused for a second before deadpanning, “You spend at least four hours a day gaming. Two hours a day shitting. Three hours a day complaining about all the fucks you gotta get done. Five hours masturbating. Twenty hours wasted for —”

“We get it. Chanyeol is an imbecile. Tell us more, it sounds interesting,” Junmyeon said, just as Chanyeol got ready to throw a drumstring bone at Baekhyun.

“It’s not even hard. They make a schedule and they stick to it. Everybody has small chores to do daily. And they switch around for the bathroom weekly. Like, this week was Taeyeon’s turn to clean the shower stall. I did it for her,” Baekhyun added, grinning. There were tiny hearts floating around his head.

“And everywhere you go, things are clean! You need a glass of water? The cabinet is full of clean glasses. You need to cook? All the pots and pans are clean! You can actually sit on the floor in their place! No dust gathered, no blown condoms, no spilled and dried wine, no food remains, no dead bodies, no toenails…”

Jongin didn’t speak; The dinner was fried chicken.

Kyungsoo however, seemed genuinely interested. “Maybe you can ask her to make us a schedule? You said she liked them.” he said. “I’m down for a better environment. Besides, we’re adults now. Gotta start adulting.”

Baekhyun nodded and drank up some beer before answering. “Yeah, she loves that. She has all these cute color pencils and all sorts of stickers. If you guys clean the house with me, then I can ask her when she comes here next week,”

Everyone started to talk at the same time.

“I have homework. I’m seriously going to get kicked out of school,”

“I can’t repeat another year. Getting too old here, fellas,”

“So regretful. I don’t want to,”

“Constipation is killing me, man.”

“Can’t you just stay at hers again? Maybe she’ll send us some food again.”

“There’s just so much I need to do,”

“ … call my parents…”

“I’ll be getting a headache starting tomorrow. It’s gonna be severe.”

“ … and call that girl back.”

“You know how bad I’m with directions and stuff.”

“ … then wait for  _ that _ girl to call back.”

“I’ll do my laundry for you though, bro. I need some clean underwear. I can’t keep stealing Kyungsoo’s…”

“What? What the fuck?”

To Jongin’s surprise, Baekhyun had let them talk. He calmly ate his food and waited for them to finish listing their pitiful excuses. Jongin noticed that Baekhyun was chewing his food for a long time before swallowing. Then, “Guys, guys,” he said, waving them off. “If the house is nice and clean, it will be worthy of having girls over. Girls who are friends of Taeyeon. Girls after whom many of you drooled all over campus. Girls who —”

He didn’t need to talk no more. Everybody finished up their dinner enthusiastically. Baekhyun made a long list of things that needed to be done. They played rock-paper-scissors and the winners chose chores first. 

Jongin, who was already head over heels for Sehun back then, was bribed with a laundry basket full of snacks. Baekhyun had decided to give over half of his snacks to Jongin, in his attempt to eat better. 

Over the next week, the guys spent most of their free time washing and scrubbing and brushing and wiping. Baekhyun emptied all kitchen cabinets and cleaned them. Junmyeon did three rounds of laundry in all three washing machines of the house everyday. Chanyeol found a use for his height and went around wiping all spider webs. Kyungsoo vacuumed the floor every morning and evening. Jongin wiped all windows, mirrors and any kind of glass surfaces.

The dishwasher’s filter was cleaned. All the dirty dishes turned sparkling clean. Even the sink was shining. The more they cleaned, the better they liked it. Kyungsoo actually went to bed once looking forward to scrubbing the kitchen’s tiles. All sorts of trash were thrown out: from last year’s notebook with only one page left, to empty cans, expired products, shoes that nobody claimed, and one Kim Junmyeon forcefully pushed into a box.

The change was like the first breath of fresh air after Chanyeol farted on your face. They could actually see their reflections on the mirrors. Any clothing they wanted, it was clean and neatly pressed. They didn’t stub their toes on anything. Their floors were visible. They found it easier to study when their desks were clean and organized. It boosted their confidence and productivity. It was tiring and satisfying and extremely calming.

Taeyeon came over for dinner with not one friend, not two friends, not three friends, not four friends, not five friends, but with SIX friends. They were all gorgeous and funny and interesting. The boys were besides themselves.

Not a single phone number was given that night.

  
  


Jongin and Sehun stood by Baekhyun’s bed. Sure enough, it was made perfectly and the smell of fresh laundry was all around the room. There was a small pile of dirty sheets by the door.

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Sehun said. “It’s weird to fuck on a stranger’s — practically a stranger’s — bed.”

Jongin slowly circled his hands around Sehun’s waist and stomach before wrapping them around his pretty boyfriend. “But it’s all clean,” he whispered, planting small kisses between words. “Washed up and ironed. Baekhyun worked hard for this.”

He changed sides to the other ear. “We can just wash the sheets for him, but he’ll have to put up new ones. He’ll be so so annoyed.”

Sehun shivered under Jongin’s whispers, so he continued, delighted. “He always changes it in the morning. He’s got this whole cute morning routine thing, yeah? We can ruin it for him. And he’ll know we did it on his bed. It’s going to haunt him for a long time, babe. Remember what he did to us. Remember what he did to our dicks.”

Jongin licked up a stripe along Sehun’s ear and then made his voice extra low and slow. “And best of all, we get to finally fuck. Do you want me to fuck you, Sehun? You always did wonder what my hips can do in bed.”

He changed ears again, trailing a hand down to Sehun’s cock to slowly stroke it. “Or do you want to fuck me? Mm, Sehun? Would you like that? Would you fuck me with this big cock of yours? Do you want me under you? Asking you to go harder? To fuck me faster? Would you like to cum in me and have me still beg for more?”

Sehun’s head gave an involuntary jerk and his breaths were uneven. “Let’s fuck,” he said. “Twice.”

Jongin smirked. “Thrice.”

Sehund nodded at that too. “Oh, we need lube. But we spilled it all.”

“Ah, not to worry. We got another new one. It’s in the bathroom. I’ll go get it.”

“No, I’ll go get it,” Sehun said, turning around in Jongin’s arms. He pushed him back against the wall and kissed him so fiercely Jongin felt his legs go weak.

“The - The, ummm … the drawer with a watermelon sticker.” Jongin managed to say when Sehun let go off his lips with one final playful tug. 

“Okay. Get on the bed, however you want me to take you.” he said roughly and gave Jongin’s ass a few firm grips before letting him go. 

Jongin jumped on Baekhyun’s bed and happily nuzzled his face onto the pillows. It was so soft and smelled amazing. He could just see himself falling into a nap with Sehun after fucking. Thrice. Fuck, it was going to be amazing.

He turned around to see Sehun still standing there, watching him with some obvious hunger in his eyes. Jongin shifted a bit and spread his legs for Sehun. “Enjoying the view?”

Sehun licked his lips. “You have no idea.” he said and turned for the door, which swung open and hit him in the face. Sehun howled in pain and Jongin saw red. Literally. Sehun’s nose was bleeding profusely.

“ AAHHHH! What the —” Chanyeol shrieked in horror. “I’m SORRY! YOU’RE BLEEDING AND YOU’RE NAKED!” with one terrified look at Jongin, Chanyeol turned around and faced the wall. Something fell on the floor.

Jongin jumped out of the bed and came to Sehun's side. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, holding him tight. He led him to the bathroom and ran the water for him.

“We should go to a hospital. Chanyeol, call a cab! Or do we call an ambulance? CALL AN AMBULANCE, YOU WASHRUG!” Jongin was shocked by just how much blood was coming out.

Sehun started to wash the blood away. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s gonna stop soon… I just — I bleed a bit longer than usual actually. It’s okay.”

“I’M REALLY SORRY!” Chanyeol shouted into the wall. Jongin poked his head out of the bathroom to glare at him for hurting his Sehun.

“You should be,” Jongin spat. “What if his nose is broken? What if he has a concussion?”

“I don’t have a concussion, Jongin,” Sehun said warily. “Calm down. My nose is also okay. Can you just go get me some ice, please?”

“You’ll pay for this,” Jongin whispered to Chanyeol. Then, to Sehun, “Sure, babe. Right away,”

For once, Junmyeon’s habit of putting ice into all of his drinks came in handy. Jongin ripped off a bunch of paper towels and then wrapped them around the ice cubes. To his dismay, Sehun was still bleeding when he came back. He had used some toilet paper to keep it under his nose and was chatting with Chanyeol from the bathroom.

“Are you sure it isn’t broken?” Jongin asked, handing him the ice. “How is it still bleeding? Mine stops almost right away.”

“My Mom’s like this too,” Sehun said. He put ice on his nose. “She said it’s because I don’t have enough blood, or something. I don’t know.”

Jongin gawped. “What? You don’t have enough blood?” He turned to Chanyeol. “And  _ you _ made him bleed!”

“It was an accident. Babe, calm down.” Sehun said softly.

Chanyeol nodded along enthusiastically, still not looking at both of them. “Umm ...Sehun? Nice to meet you by the way. Not saying it’s nice to meet you like this. I meant in general. It’s nice to —”

Jongin let out a loooooong sigh and rolled his eyes. “Chanyeol, this is Sehun, my boyfriend. Sehun, this is Chanyeol. I’ve been unhappy since the day he was born.”

“You weren’t even born,” Chanyeol muttered. “Are you keeping your head down, Sehun? You’re suppose to let it all out and —”

“He’s supposed to keep it up!” Jongin said angrily. “I always held my head up. My mom taught me so.”

“I remember that being false though.”

“Who said that?”

“Nobody. I don’t know. I can’t remember if I read it somewhere or if someone told me or —”

Jongin shouted in frustration. “Chanyeol stop! I’m gonna shove you into the toilet, I swear! You’re being incredibly useless right now! Sehun, babe, I think we should start shoving in toilet paper into your nostrils now. I think the bleeding is slowing? What do you think, babe?”

Sehun lowered all the ice and the toilet paper to inspect himself. “Yep,” he said. “Almost there. Also, my friend once said to me that I should just keep my head normal? Just look forward?”

Chanyeol snorted. “So Jongin was wrong,”

“You were wrong too, you mineral water! Stop talking, stop talking right now or you’re eating foot for breakfast.”

Sehun chuckled and came to rest his forehead on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin hugged him tightly and kissed the side of his head. 

“Why were you coming to Baekhyun’s room?” Jongin asked after a minute.

“Huh? Oh, yeah that. Baekhyun called me, right when I was putting my shoes on. Said he thought he left his window open and asked me to check.”

“Why can’t his window be open?” Sehun asked.

“Ah, that,” Jongin chucked. “Is a very good story.”

“One Sunday, Baekhyun was enjoying his morning and jerking himself off.” Chanyeol started.

“The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Spring was in full bloom.” Jongin continued.”

“But then a pigeon flew in and shat all over his floor.”

“Even as Baekhyun watched.”

“The pigeon didn’t give a rat’s ass about Baekhyun’s presence.”

“And flew straight back out.”

“Baekhyun was horrified.”

“And humiliated.”

“To this day, the pigeon remains —”

“ — Baekhyun’s biggest arch enemy.” Jongin finished, laughing along with Sehun, who was shaking in his arms.

“That was a good day,” Chanyeol said longingly. 

“When was it?” Sehun asked.

“Last week.”

Sehun slowly pulled out the toilet paper out of his nostrils and checked his nose in the mirror. It had stopped bleeding, so he started to wash his face.

“Chanyeol, go get some tomato for Sehun. Actually, make him breakfast. You bled an innocent man today. One who didn’t even have enough blood to begin with.”

“Dude — Sehun, again, I’m so sorry and I will make it up to you, I swear. But I really gotta go now. I’m late for school and I gotta stop my live show now.”

Sehun froze, bent over the sink. Jongin froze, watching Sehun’s bare ass. Hell froze, eating popcorn. Chanyeol, the fucker, gave a goofy little laugh.

And then, “WHAT?” Sehun yelled. Sehun  _ never _ yelled, especially at strangers. It was incredibly hot. “What did you JUST SAY?”

Jongin ran out of the bathroom, shouting like a soldier running into a battlefield, and tackled Chanyeol down onto the floor, right where his phone was. Chanyeol yelped in pain. 

So  _ that _ was what fell. 

“You were STREAMING?!” Jongin shouted into Chanyeol’s ear, who squirmed underneath him. 

“Get off! I think you broke my back!”

“SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU STREAMING BITCH!”

Sehun came paddling into the view. “Jongin, where is the phone? Break it.”

“Don’t brEAk IT!”

“It’s underneath this thing, babe,”

“Babe, can you slowly roll over? I’m going to put this towel over the phone, okay? Oh shit, oh shit, what if they saw my dick?”

Jongin gulped and rolled to the side, dragging Chanyeol along, with as much digging into Chanyeol’s flesh with his fingertips as possible.

“Probably not, baby,” Jongin said, glaring at the offending device covered with Baekhyun’s face towel. “Chanyeol has like five hundred subscribers and eighty percent of them are fake accounts he made.”

“Five hundred and eight.” Chanyeol’s muffled voice came from the floor, where he was eating the carpet. “And I made only three fake accounts, dude, you know that.”

Sehun grabbed the phone, which was still under the towel, and fumbled with it for a bit before managing to turn it off.

“Chanyeol,” Jongin said calmly, still sitting on Chanyeol’s ass, hand firmly on the back of Chanyeol’s neck. “How many people were watching when you were streaming? And where was your phone pointing?”

“Eight people,” Chanyeol answered. “And I don’t know, the doorknob? I dropped my phone right away though. Sehun scared the shit out of me. Good thing I peed just before.”

“He pees when he’s overexcited or scared or when he laughs really hard,” Jongin explained for Sehun, who had looked at him.

“It happened just ONCE!” Chanyeol protested. “It was, like, a drop! And Baekhyun had his foot in a chicken!”

“A dead one,” Jongin said, as Sehun had once again looked at him for an explanation.

After a minute, Chanyeol started to complain about his position on the floor. “I need to go to school!” he pleaded. “It was just an accident. I’ll watch the video and delete it if there’s a dick in it. Although if it has a dick in it, I’m probably gonna get kicked out — what if they sue me? Can they sue me for a dick I didn’t mean to film?”

Jongin looked at Sehun. Sehun sighed and puffed up his cheeks. After a moment he nodded at Jongin and Jongin got up to his feet.

Chanyeol groaned as he got up, took a hold of his phone and started to kneel at the door, eyes closed. He got up when he felt the door to his left. “So… can you guys see if Baekhyun’s window is open?”

Jongin and Sehun both looked. The window was closed. No wonder, Baekhyun never once forgot to close his window since the incident. 

“He knew,” Jongin whispered, his whole body going cold. Goosebumps erupted all over his arms and legs. Somehow he could hear the fucker cackling. “Baekhyun knew we’d try to fuck in his room and so he used Chanyeol to —”

“You guys were going to fuck in his room?” Chanyeol squeaked. 

“No, we were going to burn it down. That’s why we got our dicks out.”

Sehun had his head between his hands. “We’ll just have to kill him — kill them all,” he whispered. He turned to Jongin. “To preserve what’s left of our dignity.”

Chanyeol cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, I’m going now. So, I just checked and there was  _ no _ dick! Isn’t that great? Wow, so many comments. Holy shit, I gotta go but I’ll order some burgers for you?”

“As a start of your apology,” Sehun said.

“Of course,”

“Double cheeseburger with extra cheese. Extra large fries and drinks. I want cola zero, Jongin will want normal cola.”

“And chicken nuggets and that cheese string thing you got last time,” Jongin added. “Tell them to ring the bell and leave the food on the porch. Me and Sehun might be busy,”

“Sure. I’ll get some dessert for you guys too,” Chanyeol agreed, still scrolling through his phone. He sounded way too happy for a poor college student getting robbed by two dicks on the floor.

“Are you hard?” Jongin asked Sehun, as Chanyeol walked away.

“Nope, you?”

“Nope.”

They sat there in silence until they heard the entrance door close with a series of beeps. 

Sehun cleared his throat. “So,” he began timidly, “still interested in getting fucked by me?”

But Jongin was already on his way to straddle Sehun's lap. He shoved his tongue into Sehun’s mouth and kissed him in the dirtiest and the fastest way he knew how to get some blood rushing to one’s dick. “We’ll even have some food after round one,” he murmured, as Sehun lifted him up with some startling strength. 

“I’ll be right back with the lube,” Sehun said and all but threw Jongin down on Baekhyun’s bed.

Jongin lifted his arms over his head and stretched out. The day was going to be a good one.

  
  


Things that happened later on:

  
  


  * Chanyeol’s video went viral. Part of it, anyway, where all one could see was a ceiling and three boys screaming their asses off. 
  * Jongin was nominated for Internet’s Best Boyfriend and won. 
  * Kyungsoo started dating one of Taeyeon’s friends.
  * Junmyeon got a dating app and got catfished. Twice.
  * Baekhyun changed his mattress.
  * Jongdae got into a singing contest and won. The whole prize money was blown off in a trip to Jeju, where Chanyeol got lost after following a random cat in the street.
  * Baekhyun bought new sheets.
  * Jongin got a new door with a working lock.
  * Sehun and Jongin left Baekhyun’s window open before they went down to get their food.



  
  
  


* * *

That's all folks ^^ Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it. I really enjoyed writing it. The guys just ran wild on their own.

Please be smart and safe. Please try to get some workout done at home, no matter how brief or easy. Please eat well. 

Also, I made a[ twitter account](https://twitter.com/readandscream). You can come talk me to there ^^


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